What is love?

One year ago today I wrote about the misconceptions of love that books instilled in young girls minds. I stand by my opinion from a year ago, but I also have good news. After a lot of disappointment, I have finally found a nice guy. The kind of guy to follow you anywhere and support your wildest dreams. The kind of guy to go to the ends of the earth for you. The kind of guy that will lift the straps on your Birkenstocks so that you can slip your feet into them easier. The kind of guy who wants to become a better man for you. I can't help but think maybe my blog post from a year ago manifested this boy into my life. And oh how lucky I have been. He is the most kind hearted soul I have ever met and it amazes me each and every day.

As I spend Valentine's Day weekend with him I consider the concept of love. So intangible. What is it? Over the past year I have definetly had moments of such clarity and yet such confusion over the topic. I know I have been in love before. But does love feel different every time it occurs? As a concept that has no guidelines or rulebook it can be challenging to grasp. Sometimes it is truly unfair. Sometimes it is the most rewarding thing ever. But how do we know we love someone if every love is different? And how do we know which is the kind we cannot live without? There is the love that sets your heart of fire but can also leave you with just ashes. Then there is the slow and steady love. The kind that will offer marriage and a life and a good one at that. There is the kind of love where your partner is your bestfriend and your other half. That kind may be the scariest, becasue in the times of uncertainty you risk losing so much. I'm definitely still trying to figure out this thing that follows no rhyme or reason. It can be frustrating and heartbreaking.

I do strongly believe that when you know you know. But I also believe everything happens for a reason and people are always brought across your path to serve a purpose. No amount of time spent with someone is a waste because you will learn something from it. Relationships do not always come together how you wanted or sometimes they come at the wrong time. But we all hope that they still have a happy ending. For me, I hope this relationship has a happy ending. Sometimes I wish I could stay in his little bedroom forever. Young, unbothered, watching movies. Life is so simple and there is no reality in this oasis of calm. I pray I never get hurt again, and I believe wholeheartedly that he won't hurt me. My very first Valentine. My love.

I feel lucky to have been able to experience love and the feeling of being loved so deeply. It is a learning process and I suppose we continue learning as we grow old. Maybe someday it will make sense to me. I'll just keep following my heart.

XOXO Eriika