What I learned from going sober and boy sober

This past month I decided to go sober from alcohol and boy sober for one month. I am technically still in it, as it concludes in about 4 days (not like anyones counting). I decided to do this because I have done a lot of partying this year and felt like I needed a break. I also got back into my healing era and felt like removing alcohol and boys from my life would help with healing. And it has. Here is what I learned:

Removing alcohol from your life really helps with improving other parts of your life. It helped me stay on top of my fitness goals and keep a good sleep routine. As I started my new job this month, this was crucial to keeping everything in line for my schedule. Very importantly, I learned how to set boundaries for myself. I was put into multiple situations where alcohol was offered to me and I was able to hold firm and decline. I also noticed I was able to have fun in situations where others were drinking. This was a huge victory for me as I do tend to have people pleasing tendencies and being able to set boundaries was hard but I overcame it.

This all being said, I did still have cravings to drink alcohol. As the weekends would roll around I would want to go out with friends and as I would accomplish something I would have the urge to have a drink to celebrate. With my new job, after a long hard night I would want to kick back and have a beer to decompress but unfortunately I couldn't do any of these things. All of my college peers also graduated this week and I so wanted to join them in celebrating but held off because I was so committed to my goal. Now with only a few days left I have already decided that I will not be going sober again anytime soon. I am so ready for this saturday. But I did learn that I can easily cut back and not drink if it is not a special occasion. Moving forward I will try to only drink when it is a special occassion and feels worth while. After all, I am in my 20s and have a whole lifetime ahead of me to still go sober.

Now on to what I learned from going boy sober. It is so fucking hard... at first. The first two weeks I would say were frustrating because scenarios from the past would riddle my mind and I kept berating myself for not doing things differently in my past relationships. It was almost as if my mind was trying to cleanse itself of all the past hurts and feelings. I was processing a lot of the pain and regret that came with what led up to going boy sober. After I did a lot of healing and started to read the book 'Why Men Love Bitches' I started to feel like my head was clearing. It was nice I finally started to see where I could improve moving forward in dating. Essentially I learned more about setting boundaries but also about not giving everyone every piece of me right away. Not putting all my eggs in one basket. I've realized I need to take things super slow when dating to realize if I truly even like the person or not. So that is what I've started doing. And this also leads me to have more respect for myself which increases my self esteem.

Do I recommend going sober and boy sober? Yes. I do recommend most people try it at least once for the span of a month. One month really isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things and it offers you a break to reflect and recharge. I feel like everyone could use a break occassionally from their vices. It will teach you a lot about yourself and your values. I highly recommend.