We're All Chasing Fountains of Youth

The other day this overwhelming feeling hit me.

I got off work. Took a shower. Started some homework. And then decided to check my snapchat stories. I saw two people turn 21. One of them, someone I used to know. One of them, a newer friend. I don't know why but I just did not expect to see it. I know that next year I will be turning 21. But I never really let it sink in that we are all turning 21. All the people I grew up with, used to know, and am still friends with.

A few days ago I realized as I saw some coworkers wearing caps and gowns from their high school graduation that I am nearing another graduation yet again. It feels like just yesterday that I graduated high school. In one year I will have graduated college. And in less than a year I will be 21.

All along this year I will get to celebrate with my friends who will reach the same milestone and send messages to my long distance friends who I will not get to celebrate with. I guess it is just all hitting me that the big day I have thought about for so long is finally coming for all of us. I remember making plans in middle school with old friends who I am not in touch with as much any longer. We were all going to go to Vegas when we turned 21.

Then the plans changed. And changed. And changed again.

Our lives have taken many different courses than we all had expected. I see some people getting married and having kids already. I've always heard that this part of life gets a little odd. You see people you're age doing all the grown up stuff and yet you may not still know what you even want to be when you grow up. But that is just our 20s I guess.

Now I watch from across the country as some friends celebrate the day we dreamt of late at night in our teens.

This year it has finally started to truly hit me:

We all grew up.

And I know I used to always wish I was older. I would wish I was 18 and then 21 already. But now I can't help it. I find myself wanting to go back. I'm chasing that fountain of youth. I'm trying so hard, to no avail, to turn back time and live in those carefree moments. I can't help it. I'm a sentimental and reminiscent person.

I can't stop time. And I can't stop feeling like it is slipping through my fingers. Soon I will be 80 years old and thinking back on my life. Hopefully I will be satisfied with my decisions and how I spent my time. But hopefully it will not hit me that day that I wasted it all. Today it hit me that we all grew up.