Transformation

I realize that I have been feeling off lately because I am in a period of transition. I have never liked these periods. They're so uncomfortable because they're like growing pains. I hated them back in 5th grade. I hated them freshman year of high school. I hate them now. But I know once I get through this stage it will be wonderful on the other side. It always is.

It's like I'm having a spiritual awakening. The road is tumultuous but necessary. I have spent the summer donating bags on bags on bags full of clothing. I have changed my style a bit because I want a new me. I am realizing a lot of things spiritually and religiously are changing in me. I am choosing a new path to follow. I see my friends falling into their new lives and it makes me happy. I am on the path to create my new life as well. The old me is gone. I have known that for a while now, no matter how long I tried to hold on and mourn her. But maybe it's the act of letting go of the old me that allows me to complete this transition period and step into my new reality. A reality where I can make new friends, buy new clothes, get the job I want, and fulfill my dreams. Once I get comfortable with this idea that the chapter in my life I just finished is over, I may start writing the new one. This time the transition period is taking so long and is so difficult though because the last chapter was just SO GOOD. How can I manage to find more than one friend that lives up to the standards of the old friends I have? How can I manage to create a better reality than the last one? How can I top the old me?

In the end I will. Because no transition period lasts forever. I just wish this one would go ahead and get to the good stuff already.