Is It Time To Stop Seeing the Best in People?

I have walked through life always hoping. Hoping for love. Hoping to have loyal friends. Hoping to have family that shows up for me. I have always tried to see the best in people, but i'm finally realizing that this may be to my detriment. I'm starting to learn most people aren't actually good people. Most people are hurting and as the saying goes, "Hurt people, hurt people". The majority of people choose not to work on healing their wounds so they go around manipulating, playing games, and taking from others to make themselves feel good.

I'm starting to see that friends, family, or lovers aren't always going to do right by you. The ones closest to you can be your biggest enemy (I learned this the hard way with friends). This is a hard lesson to learn as someone who does the inner work to heal and doesn't want to hurt others. I expect people to treat me how I treat them but sadly they don't always have the capacity to do so.

I feel like over the past couple years I've really learned to choose my friends wisely and set boundaries with family. My friends now are all people who show up for me and don't secretly compete with me but we cheer each other on. My family is slowly learning to accept my boundaries as I choose my healing over their unhealed patterns. Now the only area where I still need to stop giving my heart away so easily is in love.

The problem with love is that that's all I've ever wanted. I realized, how stupid is that? But the little girl in me who read all kinds of romance novels and watched all the rom coms in the world yearns for her fairy tale ending. I'm going to have to break the news to her. It may not happen. At the end of the day no one is coming to save us, we have to save ourselves. Which means pouring into our friendships, spending time with family, healing our wounds, prioritizing our career, and setting time aside for things we love. This is our life and we weren't put on this earth to become a wife or find a husband. They're supposed to be an addition to our lives, yes. But they are not the sole purpose for our being here.

I've put too much effort into finding someone for me only to end up disappointed every time. I see the good in my partners to a fault because I want to be loved so badly. I want to hold onto that hope that they’re the one for me and that they will choose me back. The little girl in me just wants to be chosen and fought for.

I’ve spent years fighting against letting the world harden me. I still believe that love is never wasted and giving someone your effort wasn’t for nothing. But I’ve finally come to a point where I can no longer just see the good in others or assume they’ll treat me with the same respect I give them. So there it is. A wall has been built. Only the right person will be able to bring it down now.