Can You Feel Lost When You're Home?

I thought after traveling for the past four months coming home would be somewhat of a relief. A break from the living out of a backpack and consistent nonconsistency. What I did not expect to feel when I came home was lost. Like home was no longer home.

See, what nomads and travel influencers never tell you is that, once you travel long term you start to feel safe in the realm of the unknown. While traveling you may feel lost sometimes but not in the way that domesticated life makes you feel lost. I came back and expected to get back into a routine. What I didn't anticipate on was that I was itching for the excitement of something new, that travel offers daily.

I was yearning for the simple ingredients in a European dish,

Eager to be touched by a landscape so breathtaking you cannot peel your eyes away,

Anxious to go escape into nature,

And craving the excitement of connecting with like-minded souls.

Once you go out and explore what the world has to offer, make new friends, and create lifelong memories you end up outgrowing the place you originally left. And it sounds funny to say this when LA is such a large city, when I came back I felt like I had outgrown LA. It was no longer the same to me. It was no longer home. And one day in the near future I will go more into depth about this, because big changes are coming.

But it almost felt like a foreign place to me. Like I was watching scenes of my life from behind a screen. That is when I realized that this chapter in my life is over. I've outgrown my LA era. And now i'm stepping into my new era. The change feels soooo good!!!

It feels like happy tears,

and warm summer rain,

and skinny dipping,

and riding a scooter down dimly lit european streets,

and finding a sweater on sale that fits just right in four different colors that all look good on you,

and the beach at sunset,

and it feels like falling in love for the first time.

Change is scary, and exciting, and sad, and hopeful. Change is necessary.