Back to Strangers Again...

I thought when I left for Europe that I was over it. Or I was at least handling it really well. I thought I mourned the relationship while still in it because I knew the end was near. All those tears were shed so that I wouldn't cry in Europe. And I didn't really. Only a few times, so again, I thought I was handling it well. Until I came back...

I came back and all of a sudden within a month it became very clear we would not get back together but we'd remain friends. It was like a blow to the chest when we physically decided to go no contact. Little did I know that a week later the real end would come. We would go totally no contact. And now it's over. Really over.

We went from strangers, to friends, to lovers, and now strangers again.

It pains me to think of the future when I know our past. Three years of memories. Now I may cross paths with you somewhere in the world, we will look at each other and hopefully smile because no matter what I know we both just wish for each others happiness. And everytime I look up at the night sky I will be grateful that no matter where we end up in the world we will share it. We will both see the same stars and be okay.

But something about losing my bestfriend pains me. Someone who knew me so deeply now will no longer know me at all. They will not meet this version of me and I will not know this version of them. But it's beautiful to think that we can now grow and heal and maybe someday our paths will cross and this time around it will work out. Or maybe we will just end up just catching up at a coffee shop on the corner and then going about our lives once again. Maybe we will never see each other again. It's up to the universe now.

But in the end, I'll remember you everytime I pass a german shepperd, or eat Thai food, or when I see the stars and the night sky.